A New Day

There is light shining in the distance.

We had a good sleep. Something I didn't think was possible. Before bed Kev found a lead on a physician from Germany, that is doing a similar procedure to the Americans. This is a far chance but I emailed him before we retired for the night.

He's already emailed back. Yes he does the surgery, he's already spoken with my doctor and he's will to come to Canada to perform the procedure if we can make all the necessary arrangements. Time is now the enemy. It would need to be done before 23 weeks. I'm 19 weeks tomorrow. Results are promising, it may give my child the chance to walk...

... he's kicking me, I stop ignoring him. Mommy's going to do her best, hold on. I didn't mean to not want you yesterday, my heart was just broken. I love you little one.

I've spent the last 18 weeks falling in love with what I wanted, today I start loving what God has given me. It will take time, but a much deeper love will be on the other side. I already feel that.


Kev is so excited. It's like God has given us an angel. Now to make the arrangements. So much to do so little time.

Nothing in all the grief classes us nurses take prepares one for grief. I feel sorry for each person I've empathized with going through a similar situation. I've through I could understand someones pain but reality is, it's so personal, I feel only Kev can share this with me. I know people are praying for us, we feel it today.

The nightmare is over, now it's just reality.