It's been a long time since I sat down and wrote from the heart. That type of writing takes so much time and emotional energy. However since we had our best night yet with baby, I'm feeling totally refreshed. I was holding this precious gift during a 3am feeding a few nights ago, when I really started to reflect on the last year. At this time the idea of parenthood was exciting, and the dream "perfection," slowly through pain and trials we have still been given that dream. Jake is perfect. Maybe not always in behaviour, but he was created by God and in that is perfect.
We dedicated Jake to our Lord on August 26th in Banff. It felt like the completion in a circle started at that church. This spring we knelt with elders and family petitioning God for healing, promising (much like Samuel's mother) to give our child back to Him for his plans. Some would challenge me on this, saying "but his wasn't healed" but I disagree.
When we started praying for him we had no idea what extent was wrong. In faith I believe that God did answer our prayers. Jake will walk (with a little help) and he is so perfect. Kev and I emotionally have done so well, far better than we ever could have on our own. These things alone show Gods grace.
I'll never be able to comprehend that some felt my baby wasn't worth keeping. Now holding him, seeing him smile, I'm so thankful for the support and prayers that helped keep us from making the worst decision of our life in terminating our pregnancy. And Jake is more thankful.
We were so touched by the numerous showers and gifts that both friends and family have given. Our heartfelt thank yous to everyone. And more importantly thank you for your continued prayers. Our baby has had more prayer in his short life than most have in a lifetime.
God Bless.
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