A heart of Gold...

I don't have time to write a full update right now, but I wanted to say that we're home and all is well with both baby and mom and dad. I'll try to get a good update early next week. I'm taking my sister away for a few days as a 21st Birthday gift so I'll be out of town and baby is having a sleep over at Grandma T's house!

One of our cousins sent us this email, and with permission I want to share it with everyone. It so describes everything we've been feeling. Amazing how God gives us a glimps of others hearts, so pure and gentle...

"Just a quick note of thank you for allowing me the opportunity to spend those hours with your son. Honestly, I was nervous about the whole situation... you both know me, I am a perfectionist that worries about the fine details... I was worried about what I could do for him... somehow God turned the whole situation around. I did virtually nothing for him (perhaps popped his soother in a time or two :))... But rather, it ended up that he did SO much for me. I sat there watching him and was so awed by the perfection of God's creation that it brought tears to my eyes. How can one being be so precious? I wonder how it is possible that one little being can so completely steal ones affections through no 'work' of their own. What is our criteria for loving someone? If they can do something for us? If their personality is winning? If they view things the same way we do... Little Jacob has done none of this... he has not sought to win our affections... love spills from our hearts through no real doing of his. Something is coming to me... that is exactly how God sees us through the lens of His son... he doesn't see what we do for Him, he doesn't see what he can get from us, he doesn't see any of that... he sees the perfection of His own creation. He loves us because we are His creation. That is all. It is in our very inability to do anything for ourselves that He loves us. Hmm... interesting. There is something so absolutely precious about that son of yours... Like I said to you earlier Kev... it is beyond words. Even as I was praying for him last night, no words could express what I felt... thankfully we have been promised that through the Spirit, God understands the 'groanings' of our heart. "

Such sweet words, from a sweet person.

We love you.

A long day.

So Jake made it though his surgery wonderfully today. He was sleep most of the afternoon, but gave mom a smile right before she left. He seems to be mostly his self this evening. The shunt is on the right side of his head, and only a small incision shows the "war wound." Under the skin there is a bump almost like a little worm about 2 cm long on the head and that is all you can see. There's also a small wound on his tummy where they coil a yard of tubing so he can grow and hopefully never need another procedure. Hopefully, God willing.

Kev is staying the night with Jake. It was harder on me than I thought it would be today. Guess when its your own child in pain and discomfort it pulls your heart strings. I'm going to get a nights sleep by myself, and already I'm lonely for my men. Their in good care with the nurses so I should rest well.

Again God has shown his grace in walking us through another journey. We feel so blessed to have him holding our hands and comforting. Thanks to Him for guiding the surgeons hands during the procedure, for giving the nurses the knowledge to care for him, and for providing us with loving supports from all sides.

Goodnight.
Melody

In Gods Hands

Jake has had a rough couple of days. Things seemed to be going so well, he even slept through his first feeds five nights in a row. On Friday/Saturday Kev and I started to notice he wasn't himself. Very fussy at night, throwing up and a few other things. Finally after a very long night on Saturday we decided to call our neurologist. After a short discussion he asked that we make the trip to Edmonton for a check up first thing Monday morning. So we packed up after church and again came to Edmonton.

We had a MRI first thing Monday and then met with the neuro team. Although there is mild change since our appointment on Sept 7th the "clinical picture" (which is what the behaviour of the patient is) finally matches enlarged ventricles (fluid on the brain). Jake is scheduled for a shunt insertion tomorrow (Tues Sept 18th) at 9am.

The amazing thing is we feel totally happy and at peace with this decision. I keep waiting to feel out of control, more hospitalization, more medical gargen to learn. Yet as we sat in the pre-op clinic waiting to meet the anesthetist I turned to Kev and shared how totally blessed I feel we are with Jake. There we were watching parents with children with hundreds of medical complications and conditions, and all were facing is spina bifida. Only a shunt. I know this might not make sense to everyone, after all we have to face things most families only dread the thought of. Yet in Gods amazing grace we're not facing half of what others in this hospital are. And we have the protection of heaven and God's personal angles to carry us through.

How totally blessed we are.

My parents are in Europe so my sister is coming to be our "third wheel" and constant helper. Another amazing thing how illness brings out the best in those around you. We appreciate her and everyone that has played a special part in our child's life. Also the prayer warriors that have kept us in their thoughts. God has been so faithful to your prayers we hope you all see that.

Keep praying. I'll do my best to update our blog tomorrow night, or sometime during the day.

We love you all!!!
Mel

A good nights sleep

It's been a long time since I sat down and wrote from the heart. That type of writing takes so much time and emotional energy. However since we had our best night yet with baby, I'm feeling totally refreshed.

I was holding this precious gift during a 3am feeding a few nights ago, when I really started to reflect on the last year. At this time the idea of parenthood was exciting, and the dream "perfection," slowly through pain and trials we have still been given that dream. Jake is perfect. Maybe not always in behaviour, but he was created by God and in that is perfect.

We dedicated Jake to our Lord on August 26th in Banff. It felt like the completion in a circle started at that church. This spring we knelt with elders and family petitioning God for healing, promising (much like Samuel's mother) to give our child back to Him for his plans. Some would challenge me on this, saying "but his wasn't healed" but I disagree.

When we started praying for him we had no idea what extent was wrong. In faith I believe that God did answer our prayers. Jake will walk (with a little help) and he is so perfect. Kev and I emotionally have done so well, far better than we ever could have on our own. These things alone show Gods grace.

I'll never be able to comprehend that some felt my baby wasn't worth keeping. Now holding him, seeing him smile, I'm so thankful for the support and prayers that helped keep us from making the worst decision of our life in terminating our pregnancy. And Jake is more thankful.

We were so touched by the numerous showers and gifts that both friends and family have given. Our heartfelt thank yous to everyone. And more importantly thank you for your continued prayers. Our baby has had more prayer in his short life than most have in a lifetime.

God Bless.